May 19, 2013

Guilt: Should Have Been There

Picture by ambernwest

Picture by ambernwest

Yesterday, I had some sad news about a friend and I felt guilty I wasn’t there for her. I should have been there for her. Finances kept me from going on a trip and although she was there with friends, she got sick and had to go to the hospital. I’m not sure if she went alone or not, but I know I would have gone with her.

She’s doing okay, but the happy glint in her eyes is missing. I gave her hug when I saw her and offered support. We’re meeting next week. She’s changed her life and I know she’ll make it. Sometimes life is hard and we don’t have answers to the question why. I know I ask this a lot when I see my friends, family or even strangers hurting.

My church says God only gives you what you can handle. Is this true? When I look at my friends who have had cancer, lost a child, were raped, I sit back and look at this question. Yes, they have survived. Yes, they did handle it. But at what cost?
They’ve changed. How could you not? But I know they’re stronger, tougher. I want to be there for them. My friends amaze me. They tough it out through the jungle and survive. I know my friend will too. She’s special. She’s a trooper. She’s a woman.

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One Response to “Guilt: Should Have Been There”

  1. Ahh, dear sweet Mary. Our challenges and obstacles in life should make us stronger, more tolerant, and definitely more sympathetic towards others who are less fortunate.
    I see my daughter fighting cancer while her four children wait at home and then I watch a child in the same waiting room waiting for her treatment, grasping her mother’s hand for comfort. I get tired from the trips back and forth to be with my daughter and then imagine the soldiers, 27/7, with stamina and patience making our world a safer place, while leaving their families behind. I do believe God doesn’t give us more than we can handle and he checks our faith in Him constantly. I have faltered several times, put writing on hold, left my friends behind, but yet I have still come out of this a stronger person, ready for the next boulder and ready to concur whatever I’m given.
    Stay strong for your friend. Be there in spirit, if not in person.
    I’ll be thinking of you and will see you soon.

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